Monday Memories...

Soon after Jason and I got married I convinced Jason that we should get a dog. He didn't think the idea was as fantastic and brilliant as I did. I did a lot of research and presented the obvious to Jason... a lab would be perfect for us...they are excellent with kids (someday we would have some), gentle, and on average weigh 60 lbs(not to big but big enough to handle the future attacks of our human kids). A fireman friend of Jason's raised Labs and had a litter of cute little pups. When we went to look at them I fell in love with one of the pale yellow females...she was so cute and instantly fell in love with us. Problem: her little brother would cry every time we would pick her up. Solution: we left that day with a cute little yellow lab and a cute little black lab. Abby and Tyson were our new babies!!!
Shortly after the arrival of the dogs we found out Brian was on the way. When I was 7 months pregnant and not feeling at all good Tyson stopped walking. We found out that he had a severe case of hip dysplasia and would need surgery "yesterday". If it were not for the fact that I was a pregnant, hormonal, and emotional mess I am sure Tyson would not have gotten the $2000.00 surgery and would have been chasing kitties in the sky. You should have seen me when the euthanasia option was mentioned. Tyson had his surgery and when we picked him up the vet told us he would need to remain pretty sedentary for the next 6 weeks..."I'm sorry, did you say 6 'weeks' nice overpriced vet man"..."why yes I did big fat pregnant sick lady". Okay, while labs are gentle they would never be called calm and Tyson was a gentle 90 lbs (60 lbs???) that I was going to have to house indoors and keep "calm" for 6 weeks. I asked the vet for some sort of sedative and he asked "for the dog?" No, for ME!!!!...I swear he actually asked that!
We took Tyson home and set up the house for his recovery. He had one of those cones around his neck and he kept running into everything. The next morning Jason and I both had to work. We set Tyson up in the kitchen on the vinyl floor (just in case he had an accident) and then blocked him in using a piece of sheet rock that we propped up at the entrance to the kitchen...yes lets all take a moment to visualize the event. I left for work...only 3 blocks from our house...with the plan to return every hour to let Tyson out. When I entered the house after the first hour my brain began to process what I saw. There was a foam stuffing like substance everywhere, dirt all over the floor and a hole in the sheet rock blockade. I looked to my right and saw Tyson snoozing in the living room, the couch had a huge hole in the center of it (foam stuffing identified) and my pretty ficus tree was obliterated (dirt now accounted for). I picked up the phone to call Jason and this is how that went...

Brent: "Fire station 3, Paramedic Smith"

Jen: (sobbing) "Bbbbbbrrrrreeeennnntttt iiiiiiis Jjjjjjjjjjaaason ttttthhhhhhherrrrrrre?"

Brent: "Jen, are you okay, are you in labor, do you need us to come to the house."

Jen: (sobbing, now hysterically) "Nnnnnnooo thhhheeeeee ddddddoooooggggggg aaaaate thhhhhhhe couuuuuuch"

Brent: "Um, hang on...(muffled) Jason your wife is on the phone and I think she said the dog ate the couch."

After I called Jason I called the vet and asked why it was not possible for Tyson to recover outdoors. The vet told me we risked the dog getting a infection or tearing out his staples, I told him that currently Tyson was facing certain death (I would kill him with my bare hands or they would have to euthanize him) if he remained indoors and he best write us a Rx for an antibiotic because the dog was moving out to the kennel.
For the next few weeks Tyson went to doggy daycare ($25.00 a day) while Jason and I both worked (to pay for the surgery and doggy day care).

dog noun, a domesticated mammal with four legs that eats meat, a canine