To brush or not to brush...

My boys are going on a scout campout this weekend.  I ran to the store to pick up a few things that they would need, or so I thought...

As I was grabbing toothpaste off the shelf I heard this conversation going on behind me...

Ethan:  She is getting toothpaste.
Brian:  I won't use it, will you?
Ethan:  No, I never brush my teeth when I am camping.
Brian:  Should we tell her so she doesn't waste money.
Ethan:  No way!! She'll be madder that we don't brush our teeth than about the money.

cavity  noun, 1) a hollow place or a hole 2) a hole in the tooth caused by decay

I smell bacon!!

Brian was a handful when he was little...still is, but in a much less destructive kind of way. Jason worked A LOT when we were first married. I know, I know, he still works A LOT but back then it was 24, 72, and 96 hour shifts and he spent more time back East...4-6 weeks at a time. I was on my own with the kids quite a bit. We lived in Orem in a cute little house (I miss that house and the neighbors!!) and I worked at our family flower shop that was just 3 blocks up the street.

On this particular day, Jason was working at the fire station and I wanted to shower and that left me in what was becoming a daily dilemma. Brian was 2 and could not be left alone. The boy was fast on his feet and could climb anything. He was able to escape the 3 locks I had on the front and back doors in less than a minute and nothing was safe from his little hands.

I showered, quickly got dressed and walked downstairs to see what destruction awaited me. Half way down the stairs I could smell bacon. My heart began to race as I imagined my 2 year old at the stove frying bacon and grease spattering all over. I continued down and the smell got stronger and stronger. I made it to the kitchen and it took a minute for my brain to process what I saw... Brian was standing in the middle of the kitchen floor with the classic "Brian smile" on his face. Ethan was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, his cheeks were as full as a chipmunks , drool ran down his chin, and his fists were full of something. Chair next to the fridge. The smell of bacon but no pan on the stove. And then I saw it...the empty bag of Beggin Strips dog treats that Ethan was half sitting on. I looked at Ethan again and now I knew what that something was that had his checks and fists so full. I quickly began to remove the dog treats from his mouth and tried to pry the pieces out of his hands. Ethan was screaming in protest and Brian was informing me that "Efan, eat bacon mom."

I made my weekly call to poison control and this is what was said...

Me: Hi, my son just fed my 1 year old beggin strips dog treats.
Poison control: Those are meant to be eaten.
Me: Yes, I know...eaten by the dog, not my child.
Poison control: They are completely safe. He could eat them everyday and be fine. We just had a mom call because her son just ate dog poop. That we don't recommend.
Me: Thanks??

bacon noun, meat from the back and sides of a pig, salted and smoked.

In fourteen hundred ninety two....

Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

or was it...

In fourteen hundred ninety three
Columbus sailed the deep blue sea.

Ethan...aka Columbus...at the "Wax Museum"

Another 3rd grade book report behind us!!!!

museum noun, a building that exhibits a collection of things of interest

Monday Memories...

This memory goes back to the day Ethan was born. My pregnancy had been miserable. I had already had 6 different surgeries to have kidney stents placed and at 34 weeks Ethan was breech and not showing any sign of changing his mind. I don't blame the little guy, after all he had been through already I can understand his stubbornness and not wanting to turn around. My doctor wanted to schedule a 'version' to turn him on Friday. My doc said that the version would most likely start labor and that was fine with him because of all of the complications we had already had. It was Valentines Day weekend and my family was insanely busy at the flower shop. I asked my doctor if we could wait until Monday so my mom would be able to watch Brian if I did in fact end up delivering. He wasn't thrilled with the plan and let me know that if my water broke I would be having an emergency c-section due to Ethan's footling breech position. We scheduled the version for Monday at 1:15pm. Sunday night I wasn't feeling well, I hadn't showered for 2 days and had not eaten much that day. Late that night I had a overwhelming feeling to shower and eat but did I...nooooooo. At 4:00 am I woke up and was soaking wet. I got up to go to the bathroom and I gushed water the whole way. My heart began to race as the realization that my water had broke hit me. I woke up Jason and asked him if he thought I had enough time to shower before we left. He gave me the "yeah right " look and so I went and called the hospital. I told the nurse that I was 34 weeks pregnant with a footling breech and my water had just broke. She said to call and have an ambulance come right away. I told her that we could get there just as fast ourselves and then I headed upstairs to get Jason. I got to our room and immediately started having back to back contractions. That is when I heard the shower start. Are you kidding me!! I can't shower but he can??!! Jason's mom had stayed the night so she could get to the hospital if we ended up having the baby. She was now banging on the bathroom door telling Jason to get out and that I was going to have the baby on the bedroom floor and that she has seen his naked behind before and she will bust down the door and drag him out of there if she has to...it was all very amusing. Jason eventually got out of the shower and we headed out to the truck. As I went to get into the truck Jason said "wait" and rushed back into the house and returned with towels...he was worried about his seats getting ruined...again, are you kidding me??!! Jason ran 2 red lights and drove 70 mph on the way to the hospital. When we got to the hospital the nurse in labor and delivery said "Dr. G. is on his way" the second she saw us coming down the hall. I asked her how she knew to call my doctor because I hadn't told them who I was when I called. She told me they only had 1 footling breech on their high risk patient list and figured it was me. Dr G. showed up and politely said "I warned you this might happen". I was in an OR within 15 minutes of getting to the hospital. As Dr. G. delivered Ethan he said "Jason, look at this. His cord is wrapped around his neck 2 times and has wrapped his leg to his body. If we would have done the version this little guy would not be with us. It's a blessing that Jen's water broke when it did." Our families showed up shortly after Ethan arrived and I offered 20 dollars to whoever would bring me a chocolate donut and 50 dollars to whoever could convince my nurse to let me shower. I was denied both and ever since then I follow every prompting I get...no matter how insignificant it seems. Four days later I had my kidney stent removed and I went home with a brand new, healthy baby boy.

birth noun, the act of being born, the beginning of existence

Friday Foto Flashback

Riding horses at Aunt Lisa's
November 2005

horse noun, an animal with long legs that eats grass and can pull a cart or carry people

Flippin Sweet Quotes...

Lately I have been pretty lazy about getting ready for the day. I just pull my hair up and I am usually in "comfy pants" and a t-shirt. Yesterday I decided to to change things up. I left my hair down and I put on jeans and my firefighter t-shirt...you can imagine how hot I was looking!! When I walked into the family room this is what was said...

Ethan: Mom can we...hey mom you look beautiful.

Brian: Yeah mom you look really put together.

Me: Thanks?? (put together?? the kid is a goofball)


beautiful adjective, charming and delightful to the senses, very pretty, lovely

What can I say.....

A year ago Ethan had a Wienerschnitzel hot dog antenna topper that he carried everywhere. One day we were at grammy's house and Uncle James was there, this is the conversation...

James: Ethan, that's cool can I see it.

Ethan: No, don't touch my wiener.

James: (laughing and going to milk this for all he can) Ethan, give it to me.

Ethan: No, it's my wiener.

James: It's mine!! (taking the "wiener" from Ethan)

Ethan: Give me back my wiener.

Ethan: (crying) Mom, uncle James stole my wiener.

We are still waiting for a phone call from A) his school teacher B) a well meaning concerned friends mom, or C) social services.

misinterpret verb, to confuse, to mistake

Supernanny...Help!!!

Shortly after we moved into our home we started building a fence...an absolute necessity with children as active as ours. Brian was 6 years old and Ethan was 4 years old. Leave it to Brian to find entertainment using a fence post, duct tape, and Ethan. During the fence building activities Brian came in the house, and we could hear Ethan screaming. We asked Brian where Ethan was and he calmly said "he is outside", we asked why he was screaming and Brian again calmly said "I taped him to the fence". Jason and I went outside and sure enough...Brian had duct tapped the little guy to a fence post!!! There was a good 10 feet of tape used for the event. Ethan hasn't ever learned (bless his brave little heart)...he is still willing to be the fall guy for most of Brian's experiments.

help noun, assistance, support, guidance, verb, to do something for someone, to assist

Over the river and through the woods....

Last Saturday we spent the day at "Great's" house helping to plant flowers in her yard. This has become sort of an annual get together (2nd year running) for our family. I should note that her yard is dang near perfect...I am not kidding...most weeds do not dare enter...the weeds that are brave enough to enter adapt into what looks like exotic flowers!!! Grammy has spent over 35 years tending to her yard and the love she has put into it shows. I have incredibly fond memories of playing and climbing trees in her back yard. I am so grateful my kids are going to have those memories also. After the flower planting we had a BBQ. Uncle Bruce grilled the best burgers and hot dogs my kids say they have ever had and after lunch the kids proceeded to talk Bruce's ears off...thanks Bruce, the kids absolutely adore you and are still talking about what they are calling their "Uncle Bruce Time". Uncle Reid gave some great pointers on growing cucumbers, and Aunt Sue makes a mean potato salad and can toast a bun to perfection.
We love all of you and can't wait for next year!!!

memory noun, something a person remembers, the ability to remember

City Slicker!!!

Today we went to get the vegetables to plant in the garden. Ethan kept asking if we could get an eggplant. I said no...and he continued to beg and plead with me. I then told him he probably wouldn't like it and he replied "that is not true, I love scrambled eggs!" After I quit laughing I was able to explain to him that eggplant is a purple vegetable and that eggs come from chickens...have I failed so horribly as a mother that my 8 year old actually thought eggs grew on a plant??!!

vegetable noun, an edible plant grown for food

Daddy is going to be so proud!!!

This is what happens when I brave taking a shower. That is Ethan in the picture...things like this have been going on for a looooooong time. Showering has become an extreme sport at my house...anything can and usually does happen.

extreme adjective, 1) to the highest or a very high degree 2) the utmost limit or degree, radical 3) final, last

Say Cheese!!!

Our family vacation to California...and they say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth!!??
Ethan completely blew that myth out of the water.







happy adjective, content, delighted or pleased

ABC's, 123's, and CPR

If I look on the bright side of things...the children who have me nearly unconscious by the end of the day can save my life if I actually quit breathing from total exhaustion.

unconscious adjective, not knowing what is happening, lacking awareness